15 Sure Signs He’s A Giver And 10 That Show He’s A Toxic Taker

2. Taker: He Wants The Relationship On His Terms

The Taker likes to take control of relationships right from the beginning. At first, this might seem like a good thing that they’re in charge and taking the lead. For example, if he’s initiating contact and making plans for dates, it might show you that they’re really interested in you. But then, after a while, you might start to see red flags. These include if the Taker wants to take too much of a lead in the relationship. For example, he will be the one who decides where you go for all your dates and even when you define the relationship.

He might tell you that he doesn’t want a serious relationship and won’t budge, or he’ll act selfishly by having certain demands of you as his girlfriend but which he doesn’t live up to in his own life. He will decide what he wants with no thought about your feelings or happiness. It doesn’t feel good being with someone who wants to call all the shots. It makes you feel like you’re just tagging along for the ride instead of being treated like an equal partner. Quite frankly, it’s insulting. If a guy wants to take charge of the relationship, it can also point to control issues. The last thing you want is to be with someone who wants to control you because of their possessive or selfish tendencies. Run!

1. Taker: He’s A Giver In Disguise

It’s great to know that someone is interested in you and unafraid to show his feelings. But sometimes people take this too far. A current dating trend to watch out for is “love bombing.” This is when a guy you’ve just met comes on too strongly. He showers you with lots of affection and love, making you feel like the most special person in the world. You can’t help but feel that he’s making too much of an effort, and you’d be right. The love-bomber is just trying to manipulate you into liking him, perhaps to get what he wants from you. Takers sometimes use this love-bombing strategy. They hope that by fooling you with their romantic, Mr. Perfect act, you’ll see them as Givers because they’re so loving and charming.

However, they’re pretending to be Givers so that they’ll get your undivided attention and love. Once they have you where they want you, they’ll try to change you or show you their dark side.

Narcissists are a prime example of people who do this. As explained in Psychology Today, once the narcissist convinces you of how good you two are together, he’ll try to turn you into his adoring fan. Relationships with these people aren’t equal or mutually healthy. Narcissists are a type of Taker who will seem to be your Dream Guy until you date him and realize he’s actually a nightmare. So, if any guy seems too good to be true in the beginning, remember that there’s probably a catch!

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